Cancer Clear and Simple

Gary Davis │ Conversations That Heal: A Prostate Cancer Journey

• Joshua Wright • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Gary brings his unique perspective as a member of the African-American Cancer Advocacy Board and shares his experiences working with organizations like the Prostate Conditions Education Council. Together, we explore the challenges and opportunities in promoting prostate cancer awareness and the critical importance of regular health check-ups. Through honest conversations about family history and the need for effective communication in healthcare, we aim to break down barriers and dispel stigmas surrounding treatment options like chemotherapy.

We also delve into the transformative journey of surviving cancer and finding empowerment through adversity. The creation of the Knowledge and Willpower Network, in memory of a dear friend, underscores the importance of community support and self-advocacy. This episode is a poignant reminder of the value of living life to the fullest, the power of community engagement, and the wisdom in making proactive health choices. Join us in embracing the philosophy that investing in preventive health today can spare us from greater costs tomorrow, both in terms of well-being and financial burden.

Joshua Wright:

Today, we are joined by none other than Mr Gary Davis Jr. Welcome to the show.

Gary Davis:

Thank you, my man, thank you, mr Joshua.

Joshua Wright:

Let's kick it off, man. Can you tell us what you do professionally?

Gary Davis:

So my day job, my Clark Kent job, I should say, I actually work at Briarpatch. I'm a youth employment manager. My job is to help youth find purpose through employment. So in other words, I'm always trying to help youth find jobs, but not only find jobs, but to keep jobs. There's a saying that they say you can give a man a fish and he can eat for a day, or you can teach him how to fish and he can eat for a lifetime. And I'm just trying to help youth, teach them how to fish I can respect that a whole whole lot.

Joshua Wright:

So I also know that you do contribute to the music scene in madison. Can you talk about some of the things you do to contribute to that?

Gary Davis:

Oh yeah, so I've actually been doing it, joshua, for like 25 years. I've been in the music scene. I'm one of the first I mean, there was, of course, artists before me, but I'm one of the first hip hop promoters in Madison, wisconsin.

Joshua Wright:

I mean, and urban music, what kind of I'm just going to try to see what your musical favorites are. Can you give us a top five of kind of your genres?

Gary Davis:

Yeah, my favorite is, of course, gospel. Gospel is my first and I know that's hard because of the music. People might consider me backsliding, but I very much know who my father is. So gospel music is probably my first. My second is R&B, my third is hip-hop. My fourth is country. Because I am from arkansas originally, then my fifth would probably be um, I mean, I I get off into some a little bit rock, yeah okay, and then drop a couple of artists that you got in rotation these days well now, j Joshua, you got to be careful because there are certain artists that, like I always, it's one of those questions that I always ask Are we, you know, at cookouts?

Gary Davis:

that's the most important question is are we listening to the R aka R Kelly, or are we not listening to R Kelly? The R aka R Kelly, or are we not listening to R Kelly? But one of my favorite artists, chris Brown, let's see, as far as gospel, maverick City music, they're like probably the ones I'm rocking with hardest, country-wise, Jason Aldean, brett Young is a good one. And then hip-hop, hip-hop. There's so many, but I don't know, man, that's a tough one. That's another one of those cookout things. Are we dealing with Drake or are we dealing with Kendricks? You know so, you know that. And rock, and as far as rock goes, that's probably the easiest one that I know, and that's Led Zeppelin, and that's because it has a lot of you know that urban influence, at least in my ear.

Joshua Wright:

So yeah, that is very interesting to know about you. Good sir, can you share about how uh? Can you share with our listeners how we met well?

Gary Davis:

so first of all, I have to salute joshua, because a lot of people don't know joshua like I do maybe, maybe Michelle and a few other people, but they know him better than I do Met Joshua when I was first diagnosed with cancer and the crazy thing is my friends were throwing a benefit and they're like you know, we're going to do this, we're going to do that, and there's this guy who is going to come and speak about cancer and I'm like man, that's a benefit. What is y'all talking about? So Joshua had met those guys. It was actually one of my friends. His name was Breed and so it was the day of my benefit.

Gary Davis:

Joshua showed up, had a whole bunch of literature, and then we all sat around and you know, he got up on the stage and gave a presentation, and I don't even want to call it a presentation. He gave us some facts, some stone cold, true, hard facts about it and from that day on, Joshua has been my brother, Like we. Anything he asked and I hate to say it, even if it's something that I wouldn't want to do I'm never going to tell this man no, Just for the sake of what he did. Like we did a couple of events, Joshua was there. Then one day we were talking and he realized that man, this guy loves to talk and he told me about the African-American CAB Cancer Advocacy Board that they were putting together over at the UW and asked me would I be interested in being a part of it? And I said absolutely. And, as they say, we've been rocking ever since.

Joshua Wright:

So yeah, you definitely went over a great part of the story and I just want to say that it has been an honor getting to know you over these years and it was very special to be a part of that benefit, because not many people also talk about their journey as openly as you have, and so getting a chance to support you, even though it was through my job, was just a coming together of different communities and networks. That made this journey very special and meaningful in terms of how I've been doing this work through this professional way, and to meet you, somebody who has their own cancer, a journey and experience to talk about, but is doing that in such a powerful way.

Joshua Wright:

So you were mentioning the African-American Community Advocacy Board, what things have you collaborated on with doctors or staff at the Carbone Cancer Center?

Gary Davis:

Well, so I have the. I've done a lot with the African-American Cancer Community Advocacy Board African-American Cancer Community Advocacy Board, but one of the most rewarding things I did was I was able we were able to do an event with PCEC which is another prostate group.

Joshua Wright:

Yeah, the Prostate Conditions Education Council.

Gary Davis:

Yes, it was another group and we actually did a Father's Day slash prostate screening. Now a lot of you and I will share that too is like I lost my father to prostate cancer and it was actually 18 months before the first time I went to the doctor that I realized that I had cancer. So that was the significance of Father's Day, the Father's Day part. The second part too, was that it was Juneteenth and I was feeling like, hey, we're going to have cancer more men in the area, so let's do that.

Gary Davis:

And some of the other things is I've went to dc um with uh prostate, being a representative for the wisconsin chapter for prostate cancer. Basically, you go there for a whole weekend and you get a whole bunch of information and then you bring it back and you just want to make your state aware of all the things that you're doing. Another thing a place that I was able to go to the AUA conference out in San Antonio for 2004, which is the American Urologist Association Conference. Another thing that I was able to do was to go to Milwaukee and do an event out there. Was that the?

Joshua Wright:

Wisconsin Cancer Summit.

Gary Davis:

Yes, yes, yes, I was able to go out there and to speak and to share my story and I just want to piggyback real quick on something that you said, that you said Joshua, you said partner with and that's a great word, but I like the word team because one thing about it is with you, with African-American Cancer Cab. I feel like we all play a part in it and a partnership is great. We do have a partnership, but I look at these guys as my team. You know, if I'm playing running back, there's people in the front blocking for me, there's a person who's grabbing the ball and handing it off to me.

Gary Davis:

I consider you and Dr Ward as being the quarterbacks. We got one who's going to stay in the pocket and pass, and then we got another one who's going to run the option. You know what I mean, but yeah, so I truly say that humbly because you know as well as I do. Sometimes I might be over here and my team will pull me and say, hey, gary, come on back over here. We need you. So I appreciate you guys. So, yeah, definitely.

Joshua Wright:

There was a lot to unpack in what you just shared, because in many different places, that's good, that's good. We're having a good conversation here, and I just wanted to clarify a couple of things too, because for that Father's Day, juneteenth prostate cancer screening event again just the years that we've been able to work together you were able to help me in my first opportunity to be screened using the prostate specific antigen tests, and so the important part and I had been working in this job for nine years, and that was the first time that I was more on the eligible end of things, because, as we know and talk about prostate cancer for African-American men.

Joshua Wright:

we are at higher risk and so it's very important for us to take that first step in getting the baseline to just see where we are at, and from there, every subsequent PSA that we receive is going to help us have an understanding of whether or not we should go further with that screening.

Joshua Wright:

So I just owe you a thank you for continuing to be on what you're on as an advocate and providing those skill sets that you have with event planning and coordination and using that in the advocacy space, because I don't know how much longer I would have had to wait or been just. You know, it was just a nice confluence of things that came together, and so that was. That was one thing, but you know you're talking about being able to connect with the doctors in the UW-Carbon space and go to these conferences, and also, you know you're kind of circling back around and giving more context and substance to, you know, those in your life that have been impacted by cancer. So can you talk a little bit about the family history side of things? You were talking and saying that your father had been passed away and then you learned that you were diagnosed.

Gary Davis:

Yeah, and I'll jump into that real quick, but let me just go One thing I got bumps, I got goosebumps from that and I know I'm not cold where I'm at. So I truly appreciate that. That that that them roses that you just gave me, because I never knew that about you, Joshua, I swear I never knew that. The great thing about that event is we were able to get Pfizer, Johnson Johnson and Bayer to donate $75,000 worth of tests. Each one of those tests were $7,500. So we were able to do 100 tests, or $750. I'm sorry, Each test was $750 and we got $75,000. So we were able to do 100 tests. We didn't reach that, but we did get there. Another thing is that I also was able to go to the spores event in Los Angeles.

Joshua Wright:

Okay, so the specialized programs of research excellence.

Gary Davis:

Yes, yes, I was able to go. I actually went with my doctor to Los Angeles and I got to be on a panel and to sit there and that was a pretty big moment too. But circling back with my family history, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and the crazy thing about that was my dad was everything. I didn't grow up with my father, but he was everything. When you look at your father, he's a superhero, and he didn't have to be a superhero in the household. You know what I mean Because, like I said, I wasn't raised by him.

Gary Davis:

I was raised by my mother, but he is a prime example and one of the not the only, definitely not the only reason, but one of the big reasons was that my father didn't get treatment. He didn't like, he was late stages and he didn't get chemo because of the stories that he heard about chemo. My father was a man who was like I don't want to lose my hair. He had a head full of white hair, he was too cool for school and and he loved himself. If you know what I mean, he'd be in that mirror and um, but he just was, he was. He wasn't educated correctly, he didn't know about the advancement of medicine and the steps that they were taking and the things that were going on. So, yeah, he did that.

Gary Davis:

Another thing was my stepmother had passed away from cancer also. So those were like the first two times that I ever really knew. I mean, I probably had some grandparents, but you know, grandparents were built different back in those days. They probably had cancer and everything else, but you know you couldn't tell that they had cancer. They have cancer and they're still pulling motors out of cars. You know cooking Sunday meals every day.

Joshua Wright:

So yeah, I can understand that perspective and you were talking about the people that have been impacted by cancer in your life. So how do you approach the conversation with your peers about cancer and cancer screening?

Gary Davis:

Well, one of the things about that I try to do is, first of all, be honest and be direct. You know I had to sit and think about it. I remember the very first time I ever advocated to somebody was my best friend, will. He's the very first person that I called and if you really like, you know we'll have to do another podcast or, you know, maybe we'll hit it to this at part two. But just to tell you, like the, the way it went down for me, it was not a, it was not a great experience and I'm sorry I'm going to be kind of long-winded. So I'm going to tell you exactly why I started advocating.

Gary Davis:

The very first time I went to the doctor's office well, the urologist. They wanted to give me a biopsy and this doctor did not have any bedside manners. So actually he was just talking to me and he was like yo, whoa, this is the roughest prostate that I ever worked on and all this stuff right and so to hear that type of thing, like, like, I tell people I wasn't knocked out, I was just numbed up so I could hear everything that he was saying. So, anyways, I leave there and that same doctor that had no bedside manners, was supposed to call me a week later, you know, of course. He called me and told me. He said I'll call you in three days and tell you about your diagnosis. And so he told me about my diagnosis. He said yes, you have cancer, just what I thought. Didn't ask me if I was sitting down, anything, it was horrible, he just blurted it out. Basically, come, come, come. He said I'll call you in a week and let you know which stage you're in. And uh, when that happened, I I'm sitting here waiting and I never received the call from the doctor. So I'm like, okay, but I had a doctor's appointment with um, the specialty doctors. You know, you, you go for the surgeon first, the radiologist, all of this, no, I think it's radiologist, then surgeon, whatever and then chemo, whatever. So I went to the doctor's office not even knowing my stage, not realizing that I was supposed to know my stage.

Gary Davis:

And my brother who works at he worked at Tomotherapy, which is a cancer research company that does pinpoint, you know, for radiation machines he would write the manuals help write the manuals and you could pinpoint, you know, radiation through instead of having to radiate the whole body. You know, he also worked at exact sciences so he knew all the questions asked the doctor. So he gets in there, comes in there with his notebook, ready to fire all these questions at the doctor, and the doctor looks at him and says we can't help him. My brother's like are you sure you know it's this, this, this? And the doctor looked at my brother. He said you don't know, do you? And my brother said no, what? And he says by definition, your brother is is stage four cancer. And my brother said what he's like by definition, since it's left the prostate and and ended up in other areas, it's stage four and that like destroyed my brother, like my brother.

Gary Davis:

We were latchkey kids so my brother was always the one who protected us. That you know. My mom was off doing like, working and trying to make a living, and so my brother has always been our protector. So he couldn't, you know. And I looked at him and I said, bro, you know you can't do nothing for me. I have to fight this on my own and he was always able to correct or fix or change whatever it was. But this was a fight that I had to fight. So I looked at him and I was like let's go. And he's like, no, no, I got questions. I said, well, I'm done, you know. I mean, because I know what this is I didn't go out crying or anything, circle back and I went and called my best friend, will, and I said, yo, bro, the doctors just told me, you know that I have cancer and it's stage four. And he broke down. And so we're having this conversation and I'm just like, look, I just need you to take care of my, my daughters, and you know, I trust you to give them fatherly advice and I would just be there at the biggest moments. And then he left. I mean, well, he didn't left, we hung up. And so, you know, come well, three years later he was diagnosed with stage four cancer, pancreatic cancer, which was a monster Like it ripped him quick.

Gary Davis:

So I've always shared that with my friends, and one of the things that I've always wanted to share was because I never wanted people to go through what I went through. Never wanted people to go through what I went through. See and I say this so humbly, without one ounce of arrogance, but I was built for this because of the time my mother, a single woman, invested in us. You know, I seen the resilience in her, I seen the strength in her, I seen those things. So it always made me know that, as they're saying, the world is cold but fair, you know.

Gary Davis:

So I never, never, candy coated anything when it came to it. Never, not once. I never was like why, me, poor me. But I always wanted people to know, like this is what's going on. And so you know, like, like I said, that doctor, even though was so rude or didn't have bedside manners, it showed me like the inconsideration that these people have for human life, and I'm not saying that in a disrespectful way, but the only story I've ever played in my head, joshua, is if I was a white man, would this have happened? So I've always played that role of. That's why I've always gave it to the people that I deal with like raw. I'm always, I've always been an open book because I was taught at that moment this is how it's going to be.

Joshua Wright:

Wow, you started to talk about some of the people in your life that were part of your support circle. Can you talk about others and how they supported you in your journey?

Gary Davis:

after experiencing these things, Well, yeah, and there was yes, the two is the two biggest were my brother and my sister-in-law. My brother, like I said, he worked at tomotherapy, he was in in exact sciences, but he was also like I said, he was like he played that role of father when my father left. And then my sister-in-law, who was his wife, she's a registered nurse for 28 years, like a charge nurse. She wasn't just somebody, she, she had some credentials but they were probably, um, hands down them and before Will got sick, he was quite a big pitcher, he played a pretty big pitcher, but my biggest support system was God himself. You know, that was my faith and my understanding was my faith and my, my understanding, um, because, like, I always speak if you know your purpose and and, and, and I was really blessed, joshua, because my purpose was revealed right in front of me from the first time I told somebody, or first couple of times that I told people about what I was going through, and I always was like yo, this is. It made me feel good because something that was like cancer wasn't going to kill me. You know what I mean. It was something that was going to empower me and not to say like somewhere like cancer was my superpower, but it was. It was something that gave me strength and I had a.

Gary Davis:

I had like so many, so many people because, like you know, I was a music promoter in this town and co-workers and everybody like um, I always call myself the most popular loner, but my people showed up and showed out, they showed me love and gave me so much support. You know so, and and I and if I was going to throw somebody else in that whole agenda, of course my mom has always been my rock and my aunts come from a family. We call them the motherhood, the sisterhood, I'm sorry, and it's all my aunts, and they all were interchangeable. That means if you was cutting up, they could correct you Any one of them. They never played that game, but they were all supportive of me. And then my doctor, dr McNeil. He was one of the first people that gave me hope that I was going to make it. You know, I mean, god was the first and then he was probably the second.

Joshua Wright:

So yeah, and what things are you looking forward to do, doing in the future, with your raising of awareness?

Gary Davis:

Well, so, like I said, I lost my best friend in the whole entire world. I get emotional, but I also got the biggest smile on my face when I talked about it and his name was Will, aka Willie Lee Washington, but Will Washington when he passed, but like when he was going through his benefit. You know, people always put strong on the end of your name. You know they always say, you know, bob Strong or Liv Strong or whatever strong. But he was more than strong. He had a power about himself. And when I say this, I'm not just saying this. He was the kind of guy who walked in a room and everybody wanted to be his best friend and I'm not just saying that. Anybody that knows Will would agree. And so his hashtag was power. So I just I would always say willpower, that was his hashtag.

Gary Davis:

Well, my nickname in the music scene is Gary Knowledge, so I took those and this is my tribute to him. But it's going to be knowledge and willpower network and what we're going to focus on. And I say we because, like they say, when somebody's gone, they take a piece of you with them, but when you live, you take a piece of them with you. So everything I do. I do because of him and myself, but we really want to focus on the caregivers.

Gary Davis:

I don't think people understand how important that support system and they, when you, when you deal with the support system and they, they have to make choices, like maybe taking care of the kids or handling other things. It's that person who's fighting that needs, that needs them the most and I just want to try to help break down some of those barriers. If it's about transportation, if it's about feeding, if it's about even helping kids with homework, you know, I want to try to help knock down the barriers so that person who is being support, the support system, is able to be more available for the person that's going through that. That trying time.

Joshua Wright:

If you understand what I'm saying I do, I do and I really like the name knowledge and willpower. That's very catchy and I see that it's going to do good things. Do great things. So, as we're coming and winding down here, what message would you like to leave our listeners and future guests?

Gary Davis:

One of the most important things is learning how to advocate. You know, if you go to the doctors and you say hey, and they say you know, I got a pain in my leg or a pain in my back or shoulder, and just because the doctor tells you you're okay, that's advocate for yourself, because you know what. They're not always going to be able to see everything or figure out everything. They're not always going to be able to see everything or figure out everything. So you have to learn how to advocate for yourself. And that was one of my biggest things. See, 18 months before I was diagnosed, I was going to the doctors every single day of you know well, not every single day, but at least once a month for 18 months. And they kept on telling me oh, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. One doctor even told me come back in, because it was 45 when I started doing it. Told me, come back in five years. If I came back in five years, I'd have been coming back in a pine box. So it's always about advocating for yourself.

Gary Davis:

And the second one is that cancer is not a death sentence. You know, I learned that I always tell people. I didn't learn how to live until I was faced with death, because we always say I'm living my best life. You know, yeah, I get pains, I get. You know, I get tired at times, but I truly am living my best life because you know what. I wake up every day and I never take one minute for granted. Before I was living on borrowed time and I didn't even know it, just going like when my grandkids get up and say, papa, let's go to the park, and I used to say we'll do that tomorrow, not realizing that one day my tomorrows weren't gonna come, you know. So those are the two biggest things. Is, you know, advocate, advocate for yourself and never take any moment for granted and always put God first.

Joshua Wright:

That's beautiful. I really appreciate you for sharing everything that you've told and shared with us tonight. Work by your side to do this work in the community and make sure that people have a sense of understanding of each moment, as you so eloquently told us. So with that, I'd like to just say thank you for listening and we hope to see you next time.

Gary Davis:

Joshua, can I just say one last thing? I just say one last thing, Absolutely Just one last thing. One last thing to all my brothers, all my sisters, white black, please go get tested. Go get tested. You know it takes all of a couple of minutes. You know the hardest thing we do is procrastinate. That's the hardest thing we do. But I just want to tell you go get tested. There's a saying, and I always love to say it You'll either pay the farmer or you'll pay the doctor, and I can promise you the doctor is going to cost a lot more. So eat right, live right and be right. Thank you for that moment.

People on this episode

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Joshua Wright

Host
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Deleono Johnson

Producer
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Gary Davis

Guest